Could Be
by Elyang
Summary: We could've been great, but we just don't know. Aurikku.


_**Warning**__: __**Contains strong sexual content.**_

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_Can somebody tell me now who is this terrorist  
Those girls that smile kindly then rip your life to pieces?  
Can somebody tell me now am I alone with this?  
This little pill in my hand and with this secret kiss  
Am I alone in this_

-- Tori Amos, _The Power of Orange Knickers_

Rikku gasped as he thrust his forward. The back of her head hit the wall and she felt her insides becoming sore each time he drove himself into her. Her sweat dripped onto his shoulder and her hair was plastered to her face. She couldn't see his because he had it buried into her chest. She cast a glance over his shoulder and watched as his buttocks plunge back and forth frantically. The wall she was pressed against was stone cold but their bodies were on fire. She didn't know how much longer she would last though. She didn't know how many times she came anymore and she was goddamn exhausted. The man could go on _forever_.

She tried focusing on her underwear that lay discarded on the floor. She kept her head down and her eyes on the orange color of her knickers. She didn't know how much time had passed, she had gone blank and all she saw was the knickers and his butt bobbing in and out of sight. She smelled something like the Farplane on his sweat which distracted her even more, but when he drove into her again she snapped back into though and felt her insides burn and throb again.

"Auron, could we…could we rest a bit?" she whispered into his hair, her lips were pressed on the top of his head and she felt him slowly come to a halt. He nodded and set her down. He had been carrying her lithe form the whole time. She was even more amazed when she remembered. He sat next to her on the floor and rested his back against the cold wall. He tipped his head back and closed his eye. She wasn't sure if he did that because he was tired. His body was glistening with sweat because of the insanely long while they had been there but he didn't look the least bit spent. His chest went up and down steadily; he gave no signs of exhaustion. Even his manhood was _still_ erect.

Rikku moved to lie down on the steel floor of the engine room and placed her head on his thigh. She nuzzled her face against it and placed a light kiss there. He brought a hand down and slowly stroked her hair. She spotted her orange undies again and this time she was close enough to reach them. She hooked a finger around the garter and stretched them wide, and then she started swinging it around her finger 'til it flew off of her finger into some corner of the room.

"Oops," was all she said.

This time she faced him and saw that he was just observing her. His gaze was steady but he seemed to be contemplating on something. Rikku was sure that whatever that something was it sure as hell wasn't cake and candy. It wasn't hard to spot that silent devastation in his eye. She brought a hand up to caress his cheek, he held her hand in place and closed his eye, and even when closed she could see that he still wasn't at peace.

"I love you, Auron," she said it with conviction. He opened his eye again and looked at her in silence. His gaze was just flittering over her form. "You can say it, you know. I mean, I can tell. I know you're not just some sick old pervert who wants to get into a kid's panties."

"If you're aware of that then I don't need to tell you," He smirked when he said this, meaning for it to be a joke, but Rikku withdrew her hand from his cheek and turned away from him. She curled her body into a ball and glared at the walls. "Sometimes you make bad jokes, Auron."

Auron said nothing and stopped caressing her hair. His hand remained on top of her head though. When Rikku felt him stop she suddenly felt guilty. She didn't know if she should be angry anyway, but her feelings wouldn't settle at all. There were just some things you wanted to hear. She only wanted to be assured. There was no harm in that, right?

Rikku looked up and saw that he was still watching her. He was neither smiling nor frowning. She felt guilty for that look so she brought her head up to kiss him gently. After a short while she brought her head back down slowly. She saw Auron's expression lighten slightly. Sometimes it wasn't too hard to read him, but she just wished he would at least attempt be more visible.

Auron stroked her hair again and his hand came to rest on her forehead. She felt like a small child against his large body and shrouding touch. At times Rikku did not know if she should feel safe or anxious.

"The others might be wondering of our whereabouts. We best get back." He said.

And then Rikku felt disappointment settle in but nodded and went for her scattered clothes. It took her a while to find her orange knickers. By the time she collected all her clothes she saw that Auron had already dressed. She walked over to him, maybe a little too quickly though and took fistfuls of his red coat, stood on the tip of her feet, and pressed her lips vigorously against his. She bit his bottom lip gently and savored the salty taste. When she pulled back Auron took her by the wrist and hugged her naked body tightly. He buried his face into her hair and inhaled her scent. Rikku melted into his embrace and sighed with content.

"I'll be heading back now," Auron said as he pulled away from the embrace. "You'll want your privacy."

Rikku bit her lip and nodded. She bent to pick up her clothes which she had dropped when she grabbed him. She didn't know if she should be thankful that he granted her privacy while she put her clothes back on, especially when he had been (the reason) there when she took them off.

Rikku glanced over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of his retreating form while she slipped her orange knickers on.

Sometimes she was just confused.

***

They were at Zanarkand now. Around the campfire everyone seemed stiff and anxious. Each guardian was too deep in their own thoughts to notice much around them, except for maybe Tidus who was instead deep in worry about Yuna. They had disappeared together long ago and because this may well be their final moments no one wanted to disrupt the (last) remaining moments they would have together.

Rikku was becoming restless amongst the quiet group. While everyone contemplated on what came ahead and whether or not they would come out successful (or alive). She scanned the area for the man in red but saw no sign of him. She stood up quietly and no one turned a head. She could've shrieked and flailed her arms around and still they would be in the deepest trenches of thought. She didn't understand the point of being alone and melancholic when you could indeed die tomorrow. Well, actually she did but she didn't understand the point of doing it alone. So she set off to look for Auron.

It didn't take her too long to find him. All she had to do was search for the gloomiest and quietest area. The area was a busted down shack, there was debris everywhere and the ceiling was now on the floor.

There, she saw him sitting on where there was stone flooring. It looked as though it was the only clean spot in the worn out shack, and that wasn't much. She stumbled over planks of wood and rocks as she strode towards him. She almost stopped at the sight of him when she was close enough.

His head was lowered and she could not see his face because of his large collar and sunglasses, but she did feel something thick hang about him, and it wasn't exactly a happy thick vibe either.

As she approached she noticed the abundance of pyreflies in Zanarkand. Of course she had seen them when they arrived but something about being in that particular place with Auron made her really take notice of them. Several of them passed by her and she shivered at the thought that they all would turn into them sooner than they hoped.

When she glanced at Auron she frowned. Millions of pyreflies flew about him, and the sight of it was terribly unsettling. And she had no idea why.

When her legs decided to stop being jelly she started towards him, being as quiet as a thief could be. She was unsure if she should say anything or if she should call his attention at all but she settled down beside him. He was leaning against the wall; it seemed to be the only thing in the shack that was intact. Rikku leaned back as well. She mused at the fact that they kept on running into walls. She didn't know if that should bother her.

Rikku didn't like Auron's silence; in fact, it frightened her a little. Sure, he was quiet most of the time but something about this was…different. Could it be Zanarkand? She knew that he had traveled here before and that _bad_ things happened, and this was a lot like then. Except it was _them_ this time and it could be different.

Rikku didn't know how Auron felt, and she didn't know if she wanted to find out.

Sometimes, she just didn't know.

"Auron?" it was barely audible and she didn't expect him to hear her, but he replied.

"Hn?"

Rikku was silent again. She honestly didn't know what to say, the silence around them and the pyreflies roaming everywhere unnerved her. The feeling of disquiet was driving her nuts. She wanted to run away from Zanarkand even if it meant traipsing down Mount Gagazet alone. But when she glanced at Auron from the corner of her eye she felt rooted to the stone floor. She couldn't leave him, or them, but most of all him. She said that she loved him and meant it. You don't just pack up and skedaddle, right?

"When this is over, I'm gonna tell everybody," she said and forced a tiny smile. Auron looked at her curiously and she continued with a tiny blush, "We've been keeping this hush-hush, ya know? I don't really know why, I mean, the others might know anyway, we've been pretty obvious," cue shy laugh then pause.

"But I'd just like to go out there and say it anyways," she said it with confidence, and looked straight at him as she did so. Auron was now looking back as well, expression still unreadable. "I'm gonna say, 'Hey everybody! I love Auron more than I love pudding and apples. He's way handsome and mind-blowing in the sack.'"

"And I don't care if you mind," she said in a nyah-nyah kind of way as she stuck her tongue out at him. Her cheeks were slightly tinged with pink.

"Rikku…" he trailed off, some sadness in his voice. He took off his glasses and removed his collar. He turned to face her so that he was in full view this time, she saw his scar which she had seen countless times but even so she almost gasped when she saw it. Nothing had changed really, but his gaze was so intense and his scar was exposed and so clear that it almost scared her.

Pyreflies flew about him. She didn't realize how many they were, but now she gave them full attention. The whole place was alight with them and Rikku could've sworn that they were coming from Auron. But she told herself that it was just her eyes playing tricks on her.

Auron reached out and cupped her face with both of his hands. He had taken off his gloves and she could feel his calloused palms on her cheeks. Rikku thought that she would never feel anything more comforting or warm in her life.

"When I'm gone, Rikku, don't go looking for me," he said. His eyes were drilling holes through her, driving into her core. "I'm nothing. Don't waste your time."

Rikku was speechless and confused. All she could do was stare at him and bite her lip. Auron's gaze softened but he did not remove his hands from her.

She could feel rocks forming in her throat and tears prickling at her eyes. "I don't-Auron-I mean-you're still here!"

She didn't know why she was crying and why such a feeling of dread flooded through her because of what he said. Auron was still here and there was still hope and she could feel him with her hands when she lunged forward and embraced him with such ferocity and need and promised herself the she would never ever let him go ever.

"Don't say things like that. Don't you say things like that, Auron!" she buried her face into his chest and cried. She didn't know why she couldn't stop crying. "…you big meanie."

Auron stroked the top of her head. His expression was solemn and he said nothing. He felt as though he should but didn't have the right to. He feared for what he had done. Rikku's face emerged from his chest. Her eyes reddened from weeping, her cheeks were wet and blotchy. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and Auron loved how childlike she looked.

She looked at him thoughtfully, words jumbled in her head and uncertainty restrained her, but she willed herself to say something --anything, unsure why it felt so important to do so at the moment.

"We'll get through this," pause. "I know bad things happened before, but this is now, ya know? Things'll be better this time. I know you act all fearless and tough but it's okay to be scared. I know I am."

Auron sat silently listening. Rikku blushed and felt like she had just been babbling. "Sorry if I made no sense."

Auron shook his head and tilted her face up to meet his gaze once more. Her eyes were lovely and she looked so innocent. Hell consume him for feeling love every minute of the day for her. "I do adore you, Rikku."

He kissed her, soft and calm. Her soft lips felt like heaven meshing with his own dry, chapped ones. His kisses wandered farther, to her neck, to her shoulders, to her breasts, while her hands roamed over his hair, his chest, his thighs, and pushed his red robe away from his body.

"Forgive me for this, forgive my foolishness, forgive my weakness, forgive me for being…" He murmured his sin into her skin and begged for forgiveness for wanting (needing) her soft touch and warm lips. He murmured on and on and felt more heat rise from them. He was certainly going mad.

Rikku silenced him with a kiss, straddled herself on his lap and ground her hips slowly on his erection drawing out a low groan. "Be quiet, oh, be quiet now, you madman…"

Auron nipped at the sensitive flesh of her neck while his hands groped at her soft breasts. He rubbed his thumb on her now stiff nipple through the fabric of her shirt. As he did so he felt her breath hitch and she ground down on him with zeal. He saw her lips part slightly and she threw her head back as she whispered his name and he thought that the mere sight of her aching for him would drive him to the edge.

He seized the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head to reveal her tiny pert breasts. He held one in his hand and marveled at the softness, rolled the nipple between his fingers and caught the other between his lips. He ran his tongue over the pink areole, flicking his tongue at it and then catching it in his mouth to gently suckle.

Rikku whimpered as he felt his hand leave her breast and creep down her stomach and reach between them. His hand lingered at the waistband of her shorts for a painfully long moment and burrowed in to feel her hot, wet mound. He pushed her knickers to the side and felt the slickness of her lips. She bucked forward when he did this, silently asking for more.

But Auron chose to tease her and delay it for a bit. He kissed her open mouth and ran his tongue along hers and she happily responded but became frustrated when he withdrew his hands from her shorts. She frowned when he pulled back and retrieved his coat but understood when he spread it on the floor of the shack and lay her upon it.

"You're such a gentleman, Auron." Rikku said with a smile, encircling her arms around his neck she pulled him down to kiss him again. Her chest pressed nicely against his.

Auron straddled her and propped his hands upon the ground on either side of her head. He ran his hand slowly down her body, Rikku relished each moment of his curious hands. He slipped her shorts off and she kicked them away. Now, Rikku was completely bare beneath him. She stared up at him with eager, green eyes, lips glistening with the moisture from his mouth. She looked like an angel.

He lowered his head to kiss her while he entered his middle finger slowly into her. She gasped against his lips as he moved at a slow pace. It was hot, soft, and slick, her lips closed around his finger tightly and her juices tricked out. When he slid his finger out of her she bucked her hips forward and she shut her eyes.

"Oh, Auron…enough of this, please…" she pleaded and her hands moved to release the fastenings of his trousers and pull them down with impatience.

His manhood was revealed and erect, Rikku wrapped her hand around it and stroked it slowly and pressed the tip of his head with her thumb making him hiss at the touch. He felt his arms starting to tremble and ache from holding himself up for too long and Rikku's painfully slow, painfully pleasurable ministrations didn't make supporting himself easier.

And finally she guided him into her. He groaned as he felt wet warmth devour him, the incredible sensation of skin on skin tingled all over his body, tickling him in a good way. He thrust slowly at first, their bodies rocking together slowly, and then he felt Rikku urge him to go faster. He felt himself coming closer after each thrust, and even the slightest move Rikku made caused him to groan like an animal. His cock started to throb and he felt that each movement he made would soon make him explode.

He pulled out when he finally did, spilling his load on Rikku's thigh. He had a horrified look on his face and quickly searched the pockets of his coat to search for some kind of rug. He wiped away the mess from her legs while he apologized profusely.

"I'm terribly sorry, this is disgusting…"

"Geez, calm down. It's fine," Rikku smiled as she said it, "didn't know you couldn't hold it in. After all those times…"

And to Rikku's amusement, Auron blushed and his expression turned from embarrassed into mortified. "I apologize again."

"Oh, shut up now. I'm exhausted." She pulled him down so that they could lie beside each other. He saw that she was drifting off into sleep.

"I love you." She murmured as she buried her face into his chest and slipped her leg between his to find warmth. He watched her with sad eyes and held her tight.

"Forgive me, Rikku." Auron whispered as she fell asleep, but Rikku could hardly make the words out as the pyreflies burned out in her vision.

***

Rikku felt like a stone pillar cemented to the ground. Those warm-colored, floating pyrflies made her feel so stiff and cold.

Maybe it was because Auron was slowly dissolving into them.

There he was standing before her and becoming more and more translucent and she felt her insides being ripped apart. She gazed at him; feeling dazed but searched his face and silently pleaded for him to stay, stay, please for the love of whatever is out there stay with me.

But she knew he wouldn't, just one look at him and his eyes and his exhaustion said enough. As much as she wanted him to stay she couldn't deny a dead man his rest.

"Shame," was all she said but she felt her lip quiver and the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Rikku felt the weight of his hand upon her shoulder and she felt everyone watching them and she wanted them all to disappear except for Auron. And she felt wretched and selfish for thinking that way but she couldn't help it.

When she saw his eyes she couldn't bring herself to ask him of anything. She saw guilt, sadness, love, and exhaustion there.

"Rikku…"

Was the last thing she heard him say as she felt the weight of his hand dissolve and she fell to her knees and the pyrflies turned blue.

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_AN: Greatly inspired by Tori Amos' song __**The Power of Orange Knickers**__. Please listen to it if you guys have the chance. It's a beautiful song. I can imagine Auron and Rikku singing it._

_Heehee. I'm such a dork. _

_I'm really glad I finally wrote something longer than two pages after so long. Please tell me what you think. If you hated it, tell me. If you liked it, tell me. If you think it could be better, by all means, tell me. Read and review! _


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